It's A Case of Us vs. Them

Male Narrator
Female Narrator
Bodyguard (x9)
Male
Female
Him
Her

MALE NARRATOR
–I wish I’d listened. I mean, it doesn’t matter now, it won’t change anything. But it would’ve been nice to know. It would’ve been nice for all of us to know why we were chased. Why we’re in hiding now.
We were all in that huge toy shop in town.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-The one beside the shopping centre?

MALE NARRATOR
-Yeah, that one. I can’t remember-oh wait, it was someone’s birthday, I can’t remember whose, but we wanted to get them a present. An amazing one.

FEMALE MARRATOR
-I think it was the crazy guy who lived next door

MALE NARRATOR
-He didn’t live there then

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Guess it wasn’t him then

MALE NARRATOR
-Anyway, I’m telling the story. We were all in the toy shop at the back cause we’d found this eight ball-

FEMALE NARRATOR
-I remember that! It kept saying I was a man.

MALE NARRATOR
-I’d forgotten that. Anyway these men came in. I’d no idea who they were. I’ve still got no idea who they were. We stopped mid-laugh, remember? Because the eight ball just said that-

FEMALE NARRATOR
-We were all transvestites. That was funny.

MALE NARRATOR
-It was, wasn’t it? We looked up, because we could hear them. They looked like television bodyguards; huge, muscly and in suits that just aren’t practical. We were just a couple of teenagers.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-And then one of them pulled a gun-I can’t remember what it was- and you said-

MALE NARRATOR
-It was a Magnum .44. I googled it, afterwards.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Oh, cool. Anyway, you said-

MALE NARRATOR
-I’m telling the story! Anyway, I said

MALE
-Crap.

MALE NARRATOR
-And then someone beside you, who was it?

FEMALE NARRATOR
-It was him, he said-

MALE NARRATOR
-Anyway, he said-

HIM
-That’s a gun. They’re pointing an effing gun at us.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Only, he didn’t say effing, did he?

MALE NARRATOR
-He most certainly did not. Anyway’ the three other guys drew their guns and the main man said

BODYGUARD
-You could’ve prevented this happening, you know. You didn’t have to do it

FEMALE NARRATOR
-And then you said, really quietly, with you’re voice all shaky, staring at the gun, you said

MALE
-Do what?”

MALE MARRATOR
-He just went

BODYGUARD
-Don’t act innocent with me. You know what you did, now it’s time to pay for it

FEMALE NARATTOR
-Then there was this click, it was the loudest click ever because we were all so quiet, and you-

MALE NARRATOR
-I threw the eight ball as hard as I could as fast as I could and yelled

MALE
-RUN!

FEMALE NARRATOR
-And then we split up.

MALE NARRATOR
-I climbed the shelf really quickly and lay down on the top so they couldn’t get me before pelting them with stuff up there. That’s when I saw there were five more of them, against the four of us.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-I ran to the big toys section, you know, slides, pool tables and I grabbed a hockey stick. I hid behind the DVD’s and games, and one of them sprinted around the corner, and I hoped my swing was as good as I hoped my swing was. He went down like a sack of bricks.


MALE NARRATOR
-I only saw were he went; down the Barbie aisle. Good thing he did karate. He managed to floor one while I climbed down.
He asked;

HIM
-Where are the girls?

MMALE NARRATOR
-I didn’t know

FEMALE NARRATOR
-She held her own you know, she knocked out one with a collapsible scooter and another with a pogo stick. And then she asked me

HER
-What’s happening? We didn’t do anything.

MALE NARRATOR
-She never told me that; about the scooter and the pogo stick. How many is that

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Seven

MALE NARRATOR
-There were two left.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-When you found us, we were cornered. They had their guns pointed at us and were shouting,

BODYGUARD
-Where is it?

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Only we didn’t know what it was

MALE NARRATOR
-He was saying

BODYGUARD
-Where is the-

ALE NARRATOR
- When I smashed a… what was it again?

FEMALE NARRATOR
-I can’t remember-no it was a toy robot. It said

SOUND EFFECT/CUE
-Affirmative

FEMALE NARRATOR
- Once you’d hit him.

MALE NARRATOR
-And he smashed his thumb into the base of the other guy’s thick neck, some nerve cluster thing. Then we ran outside.
Lucky he had his penknife to slash the tires of the only vehicle in the place.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Luck had nothing to do with it. He never goes anywhere without some kind of knife.

MALE NARRATOR
-You make an excellent point. But anyway, then we legged it.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Two years of hiding out in abandoned and roofless buildings later, we’re here.

MALE NARRATOR
-In an abandoned and roofless building.
You know, if I’d waited a second longer, I’d have found out what we did, and maybe we wouldn’t be here, reminiscing whilst on watch.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Maybe we’d be at home-

MALE NARRATOR
-In our beds-

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Fast asleep.

MALE NARRATOR
-That’d be nice, wouldn’t it?

FEMALE NARRATOR
-It actually would.

MALE NARRATOR
-Did you here that?

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Hear what?

MALE NARRATOR
-That noise. What was it?

FEMALE NARRATOR
-It can’t be? Can it?

MALE NARRATOR
-I hope not. Wake the others, we’re leaving.

BODYGUARD
-You aren’t going anywhere.