READ THESE!!!

READ ME.

THEN EAT ME SO'S OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TO BUY THEIR OWN COPY ASWE-

I think I just got possesed by the spirit of the insane salesman.

BUY IT.

READ IT.

FOLLOW THIS LINK: Free Awesome eBook!

I have decided, principally for procrastination purposes (ALLITERATION FIVE!?), to start drawing a graphic novel of Skulduggery Pleasant, which we all know, is AWESOME. I have approximately five panels done, which is about, in my drawing, and cause Mr Landy is not stingy on the descriptive words, is about two pages, which is a LOT for a graphic novel.

Once I get into the dialogue though, I'm screwed.

I'm also CHEATING, slightly, because instead of like, DRAWING the extended family no one likes, ('cept me, I think, cause they're HILARIOUS)being... themselves, I guess, I just drawed them in one panel and made them look MEAN.

I'mma hope I don't get sued, and post up the first page on my dA soon, or mebbe make a WHOLE NEW dA for it...

But check out http://naowm.deviantart.com/ anyway, cause some of ma stuff is up there.

Bye for now, I'mma play pokemon!

The Girlyness Test

What you have:
[ ] You own over 10 bottles of nail polish
[ ] You own a designer purse
[ ] You own perfume that cost over $60
[ ] You had/have fake nails
[ ] You have more hair products and body products than you can use (From Christmas...)
[ ] Your pet is a Chihuahua/Pomeranian/Yorkshire Terrier/Siamese/Shih Tzu/ mini anything
[ ] you have clothes/shoes/accessories for your pet
[ ] You have enough clothes to cover an entire refugee camp
[ ] You have enough pictures to create your own wallpaper
[ ] A pink comforter, carpeting, walls or sheets


Do you:
[ ] Spend more time at the mall than you do at homework
[x ] Have had a hair color that is not naturally yours (I was pink haired for like a week when I was seven...)
[ ] Have "blonde moments" at least once a day
[x] Buy stuff because it's awesome and then never wear/use it
[ ] Constantly keep your phone at your side
[ ] Dance around in your room when nobody else is home
[ ] Have a name for your car
[ ] Know what celebrity is dating who and who broke up this week
[ ] Refuse to go out in public without makeup
[ ] Prefer to be called "princess"



Do you love:
[ ] Makeup
[x] Glitter (SPARKLEY!)
[ ] The color Pink
[ ] Jewelry
[ ] Mirrors
[ ] Chick flicks
[ ] Shoes
[X] Rainbows
[ ] Unicorns
[x] Disney Movies
[ ] Flowers
[x] Stuffed Animals
[ ] Purses
Total So Far: 6

Do you shop at:
[ ] Coach
[ ] Forever 21
[ ] Victoria's Secret
[ ] Guess
[X] Claire's
[ ] Express
[ ] Delia's
[ ] Hollister
[ ] American Eagle
[ ] Abercrombie Fitch
[ ] Aeropostale




[ ] Whatever
[ ] Oh my gosh/goodness
[ ] Hun
[ ] Fugly
[ ] That's hot
[ ] Dunzo
[ ] Darling
[ ] Bff
[ ] Cutie
[ ] Hottie
[ ] Skank
[ ] Totally
[ ] For Sure
[ ] Fabulous
[ ] Like


Do you read:
[ ] Cosmopolitan
[ ] Glamour
[ ] Marie Claire
[ ] Elle Girl
[ ] Teen Vogue
[ ] People
[ ] Us Weekly
[ ] Star
[ ] Self
[ ] PerezHilton.com
[ ] Dlisted.com
[ ] Seventeen
[ ] people.com
[ ] usmagazine.com
[ ] popsugar.com
[ ] Pink Is The New Blog.com



Do you love these:
[ ] Legally Blonde
[ ] Elizabethtown
[ ] Mean Girl
[ ] Now & Then
[ ] The Notebook
[ ] A Walk to Remember
[ ] Sweet Home Alabama
[ ] Where the Heart is
[ ] Just my luck
[ ] John Tucker Must Die
[ ] Center stage
[ ] Bring it On
[ ] How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
[ ] Mona Lisa Smile
[ ] My Girl
[ ] Wedding Date
[ ] 10 Things I Hate About You

Do you really enjoy:
[ ] America's Next Top Model
[ ] Project Runway (DON'T JUDGE ME!!! Theres nothing else wrong and it's almost always interesting)
[ ] Desperate Housewives
[ ] The Simple Life
[ ] 8th & Ocean
[ ] Sex & the City
[x] Grey's Anatomy
[ ] The O.C.
[ ] The City
[ ] Nip/Tuck
[ ] Gilmore Girls
[ ] Degrassi
[ ] Drop Dead Dive

I am 16% girly...

Oh joy, I should just go grow a penis.

SLEEP SHEEP

All 699 names I copy pasted (from the name suggestion on Derek Landy's blog) because...

Dunno really.

Molly Lizzy Ezmerelda Janna Maggie Valkyrie Kallista Nia Niya Lily Lyndsey Alyssa Alice Rowan Jess Emily Tia Emma Sydney Rowan Riley Skulduggery Michelle Tanith Alicia Jade Autumn Jackie Penelope Annie Samantha Morgan Mellisa Asmira Ginevra Juliet Kate Johanna Johanna Lirael Arthur Sophie Olivia Jessica Stephanie Lauren Jenifer Roma Vala Rala Ethel Edward Ellie Eliana Sally Lucy Oatmeal Hetalia Emily Donna Martha Rose Karen Catherine Amanda Helena Emma Hermione Venus Mercury Athena Aphrodite March Aaliyah Abbie Abigail Abril Acacia Ada Adah Adelaide Adine Adrian Adriana Agatha Agnes Aileen Aimee Aine Airlia Aisha Aislin Aja Akasha Alaina Alani Alanna Alberta Alda Alecia Alejandra Aleta Alex Alexa Alexandra Alexia Alexis Alfreda Alina Alisa Alisha Aliya Aliza Allison Allegra Alma Almeta Almira Aloysia Althea Alvina Alvita Alysia Amanda Amani Amara Amaris Amaryllis Amaya Amber Ambrosine Amelia Amity Amorette Amorita Zabrina Zada Zafina Zafirah Zahar Zahra Zaira Zakia Zalika Zaltana Zana Zandra Zanthe Zara Zaria Zarifa Zasha Zawati Zayit Zaynah Zelda Zelene Zella Zelma Zemirah Zena Zenda Zena Zenobia Zera Zerdali Zerlina Zerrin Zetta Zhen Zigana Zilla Zilya Zimra Zinnia Zita Zoe Zofia Zoey Zora Zulema Yachne Yadira Yaffa Yakira Yalena Yamilet Yamin Yamka Yanaba Yang Yarkona Yasmeen Yasmine Yazmin Yei Yelena Yemina Yoko Yolanda Yuliana Yvette Yvonne Xandra Xanthe Xanthia Xara Xavia Xaviera Xena Xenia Xiang Ximena Xiomara Xiu Xuan Xyla Xylia Wanda Wednesday Wenda Wenona Whitney Whitley Wilda Wilhelmina Wilhelmine Willa Willow Wilma Wilona Winifred Winn Winnifred Winona Winter Wynne Val Valda Valeda Valencia Valentina Valeria Valerie Valora Valorie Vanessa Vania Vara Vashti Veda Vedette Veleda Venitia Vera Verda Veronica Veronika Vickie Victoria Vidette Viktoria Violet Violeta Virginia Vita Vivian Voletta Udele Ula Ulani Ulima Ulrica Ultima Ululani Ulva Uma Umay Umeko Una Undine Unity Unna Urbana Urit Ursa Ursala Ursula Usha Uta Tabitha Talia Tamara Tammy Tanesha Tanika Tanis Tanya Tara Tasha Tasia Tatum Tayla Tea Templa Tenisha Teresa Tertia Tess Thadine Thalia Thea Thelma Theodora Theola Theresa Thirza Thomasina Tiffani Tiffany Tilda Timothea Tina Toinette Tonia Tori Tracy Tressa Tricia Trina Trisha Trista Trixie Tuesday Tyne Sabra Sabrina Sacha Sachi Sadie Sahara Sakura Salena Salina Sally Salome Sam Samantha Samara Samira ArabicSamuela Sandi Sandra Sapphire Sarah Sarina Sarita Sasha Savana Scarlet Selena Selene Selima Selina Selma Septima Seraphine Serena Shakira Shana Shannon Shantel Shara Sharon Sharonda Sheba Sheila Sheri Sheryl Shira Shirley Sibley Sibyl Sidra Sierra Silver Silvia Simona Sinead Siobhan Sirena Sofie Suri Rachel Raegan Raina Ramona Rania Raphaela Raquel Rashida Reanna Rebeca Rebecca Regina Renata Renita Reseda Rhea Rhoda Ria Rianna Riva Roberta Rochelle Roderica Romilda Rosa Rosabel Rosalba Rosalia Rose Rosalind Rosanne Rosemary Rowena Roxanne Ruby Ruth Qadira Qamra Quanika Quartilla Qubilah Queen Queenie Quenby Querida Questa Quin Quinella Quintana Quintessa Quintina Quiterie Page Paloma Pamela Pansy Panthea Paola Pat Patience Patrice Patricia Paula Paulina Pauline Pearl Peggy Penelope Penny Perla Persis Petra Petrina Philana Philomena Phoebe Phyllis Piper Porscha Porsche Primavera Primrose Priscilla Priya Prunella Oceana Octavia Odalis Odelette Odelia Odetta Odette Oksana Olethea Olga Olivia Olympia Opal Ophelia Oprah Ora Oralie Oriana Oribel Oriel Orin Orla Orlena Orva Nadia Nadine Nancy Naomi Narda Natalie Nathalie Nathania Natica Neda Nell Neoma Nerissa Nessa Nevada Neve Nichole Nicolette Nicole Niki Nikita Nima Nina Noelle Noleta Nona Nora Norma Nouvel Nova NydiaMabel Macey Madison Maegan Magdalena Magdalene Magen Maggie Mahalia Mai Maisie Makena Makenzie Malaya Malika Mallorie Mallory Malva Manda Mandy Mara Marcella Marci Margaret Margarita Margie Maria Mariah Mariana Maribel Maricela Marina Marjorie Marla Marnia Marissa Marsha Martha Martina Marvela Mary Matilda Maureen Mavis Maxine Megan Melanie Melinda Melissa Melita Melodia Melody Melvina Mercy Ella Lacey Laila Lakeesha Lana Lani Lara Larina Larissa Latifah Latisha Laura Layla Leah Leanne Lea Leandra Leia Leilani Lemuela Lena Lenita Leonie Leonora Leslie Lesly Leticia Lexine Liana Lila Lillian Lilybell Linda Linden Linette Lindsay Lisa Livia Lizzie Lola Lucy, Robyn, Nadine, Matilda Tilly Tillie Chloe, Wren, Alana, Caoimhe Keeva, Pandora Adeline, Lucy, Aquira, Naomi, Kaeldra Hayley, Ashley, Charity Mallory Jessica Sierra Haylee Kara Caroline Sarah, Valerie, Kelly, Alexandria Brenda Cassandra Aqua Hazel Brianna Jane Mary Susan Nicole Maia Taylor Michele Keely Bianca, Eleanor Angela Bernadette Niamh Aislinn Elizabeth Ashlyn Aisling Fish Celeste Muirenn Ayesha Amelia Jodie Aofie Ariel Julia Angel AbigailCathrine Holly Lily Madeline Rebecca Annabelle Bridget Ariadne Natasha, Monica Larissa

And mine... which I can't find.

Yet.

But I will.

One day.

Or make a new list, whatever.

Anyway... I kinda hate Skulgirl right now, but it'll pass... hopefully.

Okay... I'll just make my list down here, well what I can remember anyway.

Pauline, Robyn, Sinead, Louise, Inez, Orla, Mae, Genvieve, Aine, Alice, Flynn...

710.

Can't remember any more.... can't even remember if I had anymore... Oh well...

My eyes burn... BYE!

I made a rant.

Or more so I will make a rant. I have begun to rant.

Why? Because my babblings deserve their own special place in the universe, as opposed to me monopolizing Derek Landy posty places with my rambling.

Also I can say whatever I want here and no one'll care, because no body reads this anyway, even though I have one follower. But he doesn't count. (SHOUT OUT TO ONE JIMMY THE MAID OF HONOUR!) Now. All better.

I think I will learn the African Drummy things, because Matthew has to give free lessons to someone for some reason. But I am terrible at the instrument I do play...

Ahh! Study! Mocks!

This rant was not nearly long enough...

Love,

Cluainn Fhada.

It's A Case of Us vs. Them

Male Narrator
Female Narrator
Bodyguard (x9)
Male
Female
Him
Her

MALE NARRATOR
–I wish I’d listened. I mean, it doesn’t matter now, it won’t change anything. But it would’ve been nice to know. It would’ve been nice for all of us to know why we were chased. Why we’re in hiding now.
We were all in that huge toy shop in town.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-The one beside the shopping centre?

MALE NARRATOR
-Yeah, that one. I can’t remember-oh wait, it was someone’s birthday, I can’t remember whose, but we wanted to get them a present. An amazing one.

FEMALE MARRATOR
-I think it was the crazy guy who lived next door

MALE NARRATOR
-He didn’t live there then

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Guess it wasn’t him then

MALE NARRATOR
-Anyway, I’m telling the story. We were all in the toy shop at the back cause we’d found this eight ball-

FEMALE NARRATOR
-I remember that! It kept saying I was a man.

MALE NARRATOR
-I’d forgotten that. Anyway these men came in. I’d no idea who they were. I’ve still got no idea who they were. We stopped mid-laugh, remember? Because the eight ball just said that-

FEMALE NARRATOR
-We were all transvestites. That was funny.

MALE NARRATOR
-It was, wasn’t it? We looked up, because we could hear them. They looked like television bodyguards; huge, muscly and in suits that just aren’t practical. We were just a couple of teenagers.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-And then one of them pulled a gun-I can’t remember what it was- and you said-

MALE NARRATOR
-It was a Magnum .44. I googled it, afterwards.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Oh, cool. Anyway, you said-

MALE NARRATOR
-I’m telling the story! Anyway, I said

MALE
-Crap.

MALE NARRATOR
-And then someone beside you, who was it?

FEMALE NARRATOR
-It was him, he said-

MALE NARRATOR
-Anyway, he said-

HIM
-That’s a gun. They’re pointing an effing gun at us.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Only, he didn’t say effing, did he?

MALE NARRATOR
-He most certainly did not. Anyway’ the three other guys drew their guns and the main man said

BODYGUARD
-You could’ve prevented this happening, you know. You didn’t have to do it

FEMALE NARRATOR
-And then you said, really quietly, with you’re voice all shaky, staring at the gun, you said

MALE
-Do what?”

MALE MARRATOR
-He just went

BODYGUARD
-Don’t act innocent with me. You know what you did, now it’s time to pay for it

FEMALE NARATTOR
-Then there was this click, it was the loudest click ever because we were all so quiet, and you-

MALE NARRATOR
-I threw the eight ball as hard as I could as fast as I could and yelled

MALE
-RUN!

FEMALE NARRATOR
-And then we split up.

MALE NARRATOR
-I climbed the shelf really quickly and lay down on the top so they couldn’t get me before pelting them with stuff up there. That’s when I saw there were five more of them, against the four of us.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-I ran to the big toys section, you know, slides, pool tables and I grabbed a hockey stick. I hid behind the DVD’s and games, and one of them sprinted around the corner, and I hoped my swing was as good as I hoped my swing was. He went down like a sack of bricks.


MALE NARRATOR
-I only saw were he went; down the Barbie aisle. Good thing he did karate. He managed to floor one while I climbed down.
He asked;

HIM
-Where are the girls?

MMALE NARRATOR
-I didn’t know

FEMALE NARRATOR
-She held her own you know, she knocked out one with a collapsible scooter and another with a pogo stick. And then she asked me

HER
-What’s happening? We didn’t do anything.

MALE NARRATOR
-She never told me that; about the scooter and the pogo stick. How many is that

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Seven

MALE NARRATOR
-There were two left.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-When you found us, we were cornered. They had their guns pointed at us and were shouting,

BODYGUARD
-Where is it?

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Only we didn’t know what it was

MALE NARRATOR
-He was saying

BODYGUARD
-Where is the-

ALE NARRATOR
- When I smashed a… what was it again?

FEMALE NARRATOR
-I can’t remember-no it was a toy robot. It said

SOUND EFFECT/CUE
-Affirmative

FEMALE NARRATOR
- Once you’d hit him.

MALE NARRATOR
-And he smashed his thumb into the base of the other guy’s thick neck, some nerve cluster thing. Then we ran outside.
Lucky he had his penknife to slash the tires of the only vehicle in the place.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Luck had nothing to do with it. He never goes anywhere without some kind of knife.

MALE NARRATOR
-You make an excellent point. But anyway, then we legged it.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Two years of hiding out in abandoned and roofless buildings later, we’re here.

MALE NARRATOR
-In an abandoned and roofless building.
You know, if I’d waited a second longer, I’d have found out what we did, and maybe we wouldn’t be here, reminiscing whilst on watch.

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Maybe we’d be at home-

MALE NARRATOR
-In our beds-

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Fast asleep.

MALE NARRATOR
-That’d be nice, wouldn’t it?

FEMALE NARRATOR
-It actually would.

MALE NARRATOR
-Did you here that?

FEMALE NARRATOR
-Hear what?

MALE NARRATOR
-That noise. What was it?

FEMALE NARRATOR
-It can’t be? Can it?

MALE NARRATOR
-I hope not. Wake the others, we’re leaving.

BODYGUARD
-You aren’t going anywhere.

Sad and Lonely

Dear absolutly no-one.

If you are ready this you must either
A) Find my infrequent babblings hilarious
or
B)Be Sad and Lonely, hence the title

I can't write a blog. I should be off studying, but to fill some space
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
























That is all.
Sucks to be you.